you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
