I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
