My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
