:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
