Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
