I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
