I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
