there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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