Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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