Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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