I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
