so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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