You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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