If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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