I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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