Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
