i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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