Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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