my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just want nice things and good sex
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
