i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize