Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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