if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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