Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
