LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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