We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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