i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
