I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
