If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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