absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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