i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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