I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
