Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I understand Curling. That high.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
