Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
