Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
