did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize