OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
