Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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