Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize