I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
