i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize