so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize