can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
