I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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