they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize