Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The adults are the big ones right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
