My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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