Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
