Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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