the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
