Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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