After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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