I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
