tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
They took my balls.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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