Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
