I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
