i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
