I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
