What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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